It's Not What You Say, But How...

This week's tip is about: THE MESSAGE IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY; THE MESSAGE IS WHAT OTHERS GET FROM IT.

Do you have just 2 minutes? That's all the time it takes to read the following article. But if you're really short on time, just read the first paragraph. It summarizes the whole text.

Enjoy!

J.A. Gamache
http://www.jagamache.com

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Free article no. 29
THE MESSAGE IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY;
THE MESSAGE IS WHAT OTHERS GET FROM IT.
by J.A. Gamache
Third place Champion at the 2001 Toastmasters International
World Championship of Public Speaking

Avoid the frustration of being misinterpreted by an audience. Practice your speech in front of a group and ask them what they think your message is.

My experience has been that, no matter what my initial intentions, the only message I end up conveying is not what I said but what others understood.

Sometimes, all it takes is one word to change an audience's perception. For example, and this is from personal experience, there's a huge difference between saying: "I like your dress," and "I like your dress today." The second comment got this question: "What? You didn't like my dress yesterday?" If only I had left out one word, she would have understood that I was trying to pay her a compliment.

The meaning of your message can be unintentionally changed by other factors besides words. Your tone of voice and gestures can also influence the perception of an audience. Try the following experiment. Laugh and say, "That's very funny!".
You'll notice that your message has a single meaning--that it was very funny.

Now say it seriously, "That's ve-e-ry-y-y funny-y-y!" Use your best nasal tone. What did you just say? Exactly the opposite--that it was not funny at all. That's what's called irony--saying something to express the opposite.

Finally, repeat the sentence, using the same ironic tone and curling your upper lip. Look up (try it! Look at yourself in a mirror). Now your message is: "You're an idiot!"It may surprise you to see how little details like these can change your message so much that you can be misinterpreted.

That's why I strongly suggest that you check the meaning people get from your message. Test it in front of a group before you give your speech in public. Your test audience can be just one person. It's not important.

Ask the people in your test group what they think your message is. You'll avoid the frustration of being misinterpreted during your next speech. Remember: The message
is not what you say; the message is what others get from it.

Happy speech!

©MMIX J.A. Gamache www.jagamache.com. All rights reserved.

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This article was reproduced from "Speaking in Public with J.A.", a FREE electronic magazine authored by J.A. Gamache, International Inspirational Speaker. To subscribe to his FREE e-zine or to find out more about his presentations, visit: http://www.jagamache.com.
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